Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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