Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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