I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
