I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
