Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
too bad you live with your parents still
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
