I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
