just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.