Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.