apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?