respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i believe in u and ur pee