quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
