I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
