First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
