I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
