Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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