she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
