My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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