scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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