Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
