All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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