When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
