There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize