I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So apparently I’m into choking now
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
