she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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