thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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