At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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