We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
