So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
