ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
