so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
