Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
