doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
