You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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