Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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