Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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