Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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