Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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