this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
