He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
