So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
