can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I met the friendliest cop last night
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
