So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
