I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
