A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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