Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
