even my farts smell like vagina
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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