This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize