moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
