After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
