Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
