i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
