tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
