bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
