the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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