Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
