Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
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you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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