I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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