I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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