Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
