btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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