I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
