He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
