it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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