Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
