so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
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