they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
